Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Review

Vampire hunting with Honest Abe isn't as fun as it sounds.

You wouldn't think that a movie titled Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter would have a problem laughing at itself.  But that's the case here.  Surprisingly, the film seemed to take itself a little too seriously.  It should've been much more fun than it was.  I found myself longing for more outlandish scenes and more ridiculousness.  The film was marketed as much more campy, bloody, & outrageous (think of Drag Me to Hell).  The best scenes were the ones that were so insanely conceived that you can't help but laugh.  Unfortunately, there's not enough of them!  Some of the 3-D technology was implemented quite nicely (the smoke-filled set pieces, the dust floating in the air that reveals a sinister, invisible enemy), but others were disappointing.  How many times are filmmakers going to make us sit through scenes where a character fires a bullet "at the audience" or cracks a whip "at the screen?"  These are silly scenes that are more frustrating than fun.  What the film boasts in atmospheric imagery it lacks heavily in screenwriting.  The voice-over narration was a distraction from the film's vibrant visual flair.  When done correctly, voice-over can greatly enhance a film (i.e. Taxi Driver, Double Indemnity).  But when it's bad, it is BAD.  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter has got some entertainment value, but it can't seem to strike the proper balance of horror, camp, and comedy.

2.5 out of 5

Prometheus - Review

"Big things have small beginnings."

Prometheus presents a long-awaited return to science-fiction for acclaimed director Ridley Scott.  The film does not disappoint.  It's absolutely beautifully shot and filled with intelligent, thought-provoking questions.  What is the origin of human life?  What happens when two species collide?  These are giant questions that the film doesn't need to answer, but chooses to pose and play with.  Prometheus kicks off with some stunning shots of a vast world not yet populated with life of any kind.  Without giving away plot details, we then see the double helix typical of human DNA floating down a river followed by cells forming a new life form.  In very broad terms, the film is about creation.  

 "I watched your dreams."

Michael Fassbender turns in what should go on to be an Academy Award winning performance as David, the AI on board.  Scott has explored the realm of humanity vs. machine in both Alien and Blade Runner, and further questions the two here.  Interestingly, David seems disappointed in his human creators especially when one crew member informs him that he was created "because we could."  His biting tone reveals his frustration with "you people" (humans) creating him in their likeness because it would upset them to create something that didn't resemble them - a notion that bears heavy significant for other scenes in the film. Fassbender injects complexity into an already well-written character.  He has childlike curiosity, bitter jealousy, cruel intent, and the desire for knowledge often all at the same time.  David frequently quotes from Lawrence of Arabia, and brilliantly alters the meaning of the lines given their context in this film.  Unlike previous films by the director, David actually succeeds in creating a new species, albeit indirectly and through unorthodox means.  Other than Noomi Rapace's Elizabeth Shaw, David is at the center of the film and catalyzes much of the action.  He offers an interesting contrast to Charlize Theron as Meredith Vickers, who I believe to be human (though this point, I'm sure, could be argued).  Though both characters' "creator" is the allusive Peter Weyland, David's interests and motives seem more in line with his father's than do Vickers'.  David is willing to sacrifice human casualties to further the mission, while Vickers is not.  

"There is nothing in the desert.  And no man needs nothing."

This is a fascinating film that will likely go under appreciated.  Prometheus is about the journey, rather than the destination, and many people don't like that sort of movie.  It's a film about exploration which ponders the questions of creator, creation, and faith.  Scott's Blade Runner was perhaps one of the most misunderstood pieces of cinema upon its initial release.  While the film isn't without flaws and doesn't quite reach the level that Blade Runner or Alien have earned, to hold its own against such worthy competitors makes it worth the price of admission.

P.S. I strongly recommend seeing the film in 3-D.  It's the most effective use the technology to date. 

5 out of 5

Blade Runner (1982) - Review

"More human than human" is our motto - Tyrell

With the premiere of Ridley Scott's Prometheus just around the corner, I thought it was time to revisit his proven classic, Blade Runner.

In Blade Runner, the future is portrayed as a time in which overcrowded streets, murder, industrial destruction, and darkness are the norm.  There are no sunny days.  Instead, fire reigns as pillars of flame expel from shadowy buildings.  Dystopia is law.  The government is a shady entity whose law enforcers (the "blade runners") are tasked eliminate the replicants before L.A.'s human citizens find out about their escape.  Sight and vision are king.  Eyes are everywhere, from the Voight-Kampf testing to the poor Chew character who manufactures the replicants' eyes.  Fittingly, the film's most devastatingly brutal scene occurs when one character loses vision, to put it delicately.

"If only you could see what I've seen with your eyes."

The film meditates the very nature of humanity, which I predict Prometheus will similarly do.  The crucial point of debate amongst fans is whether Deckard is a human or a replicant.  The best answer is no answer.  The point is to blur the line between the two, which the film does successfully.  Both humans and replicants have a limited lifespan ("it's too bad she won't live - but then again, who does?"), the potential for developing their own emotional responses, and dreams.  In the end, Deckard risks his own security for the love of a woman.  He chooses to learn what it feels like to "live in fear," as Roy Batty warns.


The discussion of humanity, the eye motifs, the idea of memories, the giant Geisha billboards, the animal metaphors, the origami.  Blade Runner is brilliant.  It's an intelligent film that demands an equally intelligent audience.  There's no doubting its rank as one of the most influential and important works of science fiction film.   

"Time to die."

 5 out of 5

Snow White and the Huntsman - Review

An apple a day keeps the... uh... oops.

Snow White and the Huntsman has all the visual spectacle one would expect from an epic, life-action adaptation of the classic fairytale.  It's beautiful but dark, imaginative and lively, fresh and fantastic.  But someone forgot to write a decent script.  If this had been made as a silent film or a music video to Florence + the Machine's "Breath of Life," the film would've been improved ten-fold.  The words don't enhance the visuals, and sometimes detract from them.  All of the actors/actresses, both supporting & leading, epitomize the look of the characters they portray.  Unfortunately, they're let down by unexciting dialogue that prevents the characters from becoming fully realized.  But that's not the real draw of the film anyways.  Those looking for a brilliantly shot and vibrantly made film will not go away disappointed.  There's no shortage of visual spectacle, and several scenes shine.  I actually liked what the filmmakers did with the whole "poison apple" plot quite a bit.  The Dark Forest and Enchanted Forest scenes are also remarkable, visually.  It just didn't seem like there was enough meat to carry the film, and it's uneven from "once upon a time" to "happily ever after."

3.5 out of 5 

A Simple Plan (1998) - Review

"The American Dream... in a duffle bag."

I'm always amazed by how far a character can be pushed, how violent their actions become, how crazy their choices seem to be, and yet we still root for them.  Perhaps movies like A Simple Plan explore our deep, dark secret desires.  They bring to light some pretty sinister personalities lurking beneath the surface.  Director Sam Raimi wisely uses a similar aesthetic that the Coen Bros utilized in Fargo to create an atmospheric thriller.  It feels like this could all be happening in your backyard, and that's one of the big advantages of the film.  The characters aren't cartoonish villains or formulaic bad guys.  They're "ordinary people" doing horrible things.  That's what makes A Simple Plan compelling.

"Nobody'd ever believe that you'd be capable of doing what you've done."

Here, it's as if the characters have set in motion some force that's beyond control (a theme present in other of the director's films).  And they think they have total control over it.  The film is about how complex a seemingly flawless plan can turn out to be.  Nothing is simple.  Everything has a story behind it.  It's captivating, but challenging.   We witness the lengths to which the characters will go to cover their bloody footprints in the snow.

4.5 out of 5